A pair of quadruple whiskies and another pair of pints...

It is possibly one of the most quoted movies of all time. I know people who have memorised the entire script word for word. There are no special effects or fancy Computer Generated Images. And Hugh Grant isn't in it. Yet there can be no doubt that Withnail & I (Richard E Grant and Paul McGann) is one of the most endearing British movies ever released and a timeless cult classic. It is illegal to make it through university without having watched it at least once a term. The BBC reports that Uncle Monty's desolate cottage, in which our two favourite out of work actors 'accidentally' went on holiday, is on the market for a tempting £145,000. This has certainly provided food for thought for this particular blogger. I for one would gladly give up my current life to eek out the more rustic Cumbrian way of life so beautifully captured in Bruce Robinson's tale of two drunken thespians. Who hasn't thought about barging in on the Penrith Tearooms and demanding the finest wines available to humanity, or spending an evening at the Crow? Which student hasn't contemplated necking a bottle of lighter fluid when bereft of alcohol? Who hasn't considered fishing with a shotgun when desperate for "something's flesh"?

No matter how many times I watch this low budget classic, I never get bored of it. Anyway, I can't resist it - please allow me to quote some of my favourite scenes (courtesy of IMDB):

First Policeman: [Having just pulled Withnail driving the beaten up Jaguar drunk & speeding] Bit early in the morning for festivities isn't it sir? [He eyes the pile of empty bottles in the passenger seat]
Withnail: They're not mine, they belong to him [He gestures vainly to the back seat]
First Policeman: [Wrinkling his nose as the smell of Withnail's breath hits him] You're drunk Withnail: I assure you I'm not officer, I've only had a few ales
First Policeman: Out of the car please Sir. [Withnail does not move, the Policeman opens the door abruptly & Withnail spills out then stands against the car, propping himself up - the Policeman offers him a breath test]
First Policeman: Would you fill this bag please sir? [Withnail shakes his head]
First Policeman: Are you refusing to fill this bag?
Withnail: I most certainly am
First Policeman: I'm placing you under arrest.
Withnail: Don't be ridiculous I haven't done anything. Listen, my cousin's a QC
Policeman Two: [Who has been listening - screaming] GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monty: As a youth I used to weep in butcher's shops


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


[approaching the pub]
Withnail: Right, here's the plan. First, we go in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop some Surmontil-50's each. That way we'll miss out on Monday and come up smiling Tuesday morning.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Withnail: Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up!
Marwood: No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. I've looked into it. Listen to me, listen to me! There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Wait till the morning, we'll go in together.
Withnail: This IS the morning. Stand aside!
Marwood: You don't understand. I think there may be something alive.
Withnail: What do you mean? a rat?
Marwood: It's possible, it's possible.
Withnail: Then the fucker will rue the day!