Glasgow North East By-Election

Residents of the Glasgow North East constituency will finally get the chance to elect their new Member of Parliament tomorrow following the departure of ex-speaker Michael Martin to the House of Lords. The seat will almost certainly go to Labour candidate William Bain, although the SNP are likely to make some gain. Socialist firebrand Tommy Sheridan, who is definitely not a swinger, has used the election campaign to spread his rhetoric but is unlikely to make any significant dent at the polling stations.

Threethousandversts has already noted the decidedly poor quality of candidates, including "straight talking" Big Brother runner up Mikey Hughes who has vowed to "clean up the House" (literally i presume?) and Glasgow Airport baggage handler John Smeaton. Smeaton, who has squeezed every last morsel of publicity out of his status as Glasgow Airport's terrorist attack 'hero', appears ever so slightly out of his depth in the political arena, something which STV Political Editor Bernard Ponsonby seems well aware of. Glasgow North East is one of the UK's most deprived constituencies with high unemployment and a depressingly low life expectancy. It may be mildly amusing to witness Smeaton's embarrassing performance, but this constituency deserves a higher quality of candidates.

Glasgow Betrayed By SNP Again

We are all familiar with the SNP's broken promises by now: no scrapping of Council Tax; no reduction of primary school class sizes; no writing off student debt; no 1000 extra police officers; no protection for A&E units; no grant for first time house buyers etc.

Now we can add to that list a complete reversal of their commitment to invest in public transport provision, particularly in the west of Scotland. Finance Secretary John Swinney's recent decision to axe the Glasgow Airport Rail Link (GARL) is another blow for Scotland's largest city, and yet more evidence of an Edinburgh biase from the Nationalists. After expressing his anger at the decision, the leader of Glasgow City Council Steven Purcell (Lab), was apparently told to "behave like a grown up" by the First Minister. Charming, but perhaps not out of character for Salmond.

The rail link has long been considered a vital compotent of modernising the west of Scotland's ageing transport network and injecting a huge boost to the wider economy. The scheme would have safeguarded thousands of jobs in engineering, planning, construction and environmental monitoring, as well as supporting the city's growing business tourism and conference destination reputation. 95% of users travel to Glasgow airport by road, with the only other option of getting into the city centre an expensive taxi or bus. Numbers through the airport are predicted to double by 2030, and with the Commonwealth Games in 2014, this was the perfect opportunity to at last improve travel choice and provide a modern, efficient and long term solution to infrastructure problems in the west of Scotland.

Laughably, Swinney has attempted to ease concerns by committing to a 'Fastlink' system, which is simply another term for an extra bus lane. It is quite depressing that, despite all the evidence from other European cities, successive administrations still cannot acknowledge the importance of an efficient, integrated transport infrastructure to the economic success of a region. Let's hope that the other main parties pledge their commitment to reinstating GARL and that this wretched party are removed from power at the next opportunity.

The Casino Always Wins

In his final 'Event' on Channel 4 last night, Derren Brown narrowly failed to win £175,000 with £5,000 of stolen money at a roulette table in an unspecified casino somewhere in Europe. Or did he? The illusionist claimed to be able to predict which number the ball would land on by simultaneously working out the speed of the roulette wheel and the ball itself. He failed by one number. Leading up to the casino event, Brown explained which skills he would be employing through a series of stunts. In the first he selected two members of the audience, one extrovert and one introvert, and asked them to choose from one of two boxes, one of which contained £20. The purpose was to demonstrate that the extrovert could 'will' the £20 towards himself simply by adopting a positive attitude. As any amateur magician will know, this is one of the most basic of tricks. Prior to putting the money in the box he wrote an instruction to hand the note over to the other contestant. This is a fail safe mechansim. As it turned out the introvert chose the correct box and Brown instructed her to reveal the message. If the extrovert had chosen it, he would simply have neglected to mention the message written on the note.

In his next stunt he claimed to be able to guess the speed of a fast moving vehicle by employing some form of advanced trigonometry using surrounding signposts and trees to work out the relative speed of any given vehicle. Not only this, he then apparently guessed the correct speed purely by listening to the sound of the vehicle engine! Clearly this is absolute nonsense. In the next experiment, he demonstrated an ability to analyse the speed and trajectory of a small rubber ball thrown randomly inside a squash court, and predict exactly where it would finally settle within the court. Again, absolutely absurd. The idea was to generate in the viewer a sense that Brown could quite conceivably predict the speed of a roulette wheel and ball using these same skills, and subsequently cheat the casino.

Of course, the legal ramifications (for Brown and Channel 4) of conning a member of the public into handing over £5000 through hypnosis and then gambling that money in a foreign casino using supposedly underhand methods are fairly significant. All of which suggests that the whole thing, as with his previous 'Events', was almost certainly a hoax. It may have been that Brown really did hypnotise a member of the public into handing over £5000. But he probably did not travel to a casino in Europe. It was most likely a mock up of a casino in a London warehouse/studio, and the £5,000 was therefore never at risk. Essentially, Brown was in a no-lose situation. If he DID get it right, then it would have been further evidence of his amazing psychic abilities. However, by narrowly missing out, he showed that he is in fact fallible, thus preserving his enigma and a thirst for yet more events (and crucially another TV series!). Nevertheless, Brown is undoubtedly a great showman and it makes for entertaining television. Such hyped up shows are ideal vehicles for advertisers and a further platform for Brown to raise his profile and set himself up for a big money book deal.

Hollyoaks Babe in Boyfriend Sensation

The Sun today carries the world exclusive that Hollyoaks actress Jennifer Metcalfe has got a new boyfriend, having been pictured together in Spain. Eye witness accounts have confirmed that Metcalfe, 26, at one point picked up her handbag. Having surveyed the water, the glamorous brunette is also said to have purchased a cocktail from a nearby bar. Sources indicate that it was a 'Cosmopolitan', although these reports are unconfirmed. The sand on which Metcalfe was walking is likely to be of the volcanic variety, with scientists currently carrying out forensic tests to establish its consistency and any traces of nail varnish. British holidaymaker Kandi Topper, 23, from Essex described the events: "It was incredible...i just saw her drinking a cocktail and walking along the beach. At one point she kissed her boyfriend on the cheek - I think it was the left cheek, but it could have been the right one...I'm not sure".

Liverpool Need to Step Up a Gear

Liverpool travel to West Ham today in the knowledge that there is little room for error, having already suffered two early season defeats in the league. The Hammers are an unpredictable outfit, although Upton Park has been a happy hunting ground for the Reds in recent seasons. With Chelsea having established a slight lead (albeit having played inferior opposition) it is important that Liverpool carry on the momentum from their previous two games against Bolton and Burnley, before the crunch match with Ancelotti's men in a few weeks.

Wednesday's performance against Debrecen was far from inspiring, with Gerrard worryingly out of sorts, and Benitez's side received a fair amount of media criticism for their narrow 1-0 win. In general it was interpreted as further evidence that Liverpool are a long way off challenging for the title (almost universally explained by the absence of Xabi Alonso). In contrast, Manchester United's victory by the same scoreline against Besiktas was described as 'gritty' and 'professional' i.e further evidence that they are a team who know how to win when not playing at their best. Perhaps it is just that I am paranoid, or maybe it was because they were playing in front of a larger terrestrial audience, but there does seem to be a prevailing trend within the world of football journalism whereby Liverpool are open to harsher judgement than their main rivals. Yes, it was a poor performance on Wednesday, but let's not over-react. It is still very early in the season. I'll stick my neck out and say that in the long term, Manchester United will miss Ronaldo more than Liverpool will miss Alonso.

David Mitchell's Soapbox: Waste

David Mitchell's Soapbox: Waste

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Over the past 24 weeks, the comedian David Mitchell has presented a series of observations on a range of random issues. They are essentially 4 minute rants delivered in the familiar Peep Show sarcasm mould. I'd recommend you have a look at his others via the above link.

Lockerbie Families Deserve Inquiry

It's not often that Hernandez dips his fingers into the bowl of world politics, but the release of Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi on compassionate grounds today merits consideration. The move has caused widespread anger, most notably in the US with President Obama describing it as a "mistake". On the face of it their anger is perhaps understandable. Megrahi was convicted in 2001 for the murder of 270 people of which 189 were American. He was sentenced to 27 years yet has served just 8, having lost an appeal in 2002. Aside from the arguments for his release, the Scottish Government's handling of the affair has been utterly shambolic. Justice Minister Kenny MacAskill's bizarre decision to visit Megrahi in Greenock prison earlier this month has fuelled specualtion of a deal preserving diplomatic relations with Libya. And today, the SNP have predictably attempted to use the worldwide exposure as a nationalistic points-scoring exercise, clearly a reminder that Scotland now makes its own decisions and is a separate entity from the UK.

The delivery of MacAskill's statement at todays press conference also had a rather odd tone, almost 'sermon' like as noticed by the BBC Scotland political editor Brian Taylor. It is reasonable to assume that the tone was for the benefit of the US audience, particularly the reference to a "higher authority". Apart from airy references to Scottish morals, values and beliefs, the statement lacked any real justification or reasoning, perhaps a hint that there were in fact diplomatic motives behind the release. Despite MacAskill's assurances, it seems unlikely that his release was motivated purely by 'compassion' or 'mercy'. Can we assume that from now on any prisoner with a terminal illness will be released and allowed to return to his family?

There is growing suspicion (in Scotland at least) that Megrahi's original trial may have been flawed and that his conviction may be unsafe. Many believe, including some of the families themselves, that Megrahi has been made a convenient scapegoat. Tam Dalyell, the former father of the House of Commons, has persistently argued Megrahi's innocence, saying that:

"Mr McAskill has arrived at the right decision on compassionate grounds. I do not accept his endorsement of the guilt of Mr Megrahi, whom I continue to believe had nothing whatsoever to do with the crime of Lockerbie".

Tellingly, back in 2007 the Scottish Criminal Cases Review Commission recommended that Megrahi be granted a second appeal, suggesting that the full facts did not come out through the original trial. It does seem unlikely that Megrahi could have acted alone and organised the bombing without significant support, if indeed he was involved at all.

Whether he was responsible for the atrocity or not, Megrahi has only months to live. It appears that he has sacrificed any chance of clearing his name in order to spend his remaining time with his family. For the sake of the Scottish legal system, it is essential that a full public inquiry is held into the case. Otherwise the real tragedy will be that the victims families will be denied closure, as reflected in the words of Jim Swire who lost his daughter Flora in the bombing:

""I think for those of us who have looked carefully at the evidence and have doubts, we cannot achieve that until we're quite sure that it really is true and it could be proved that it were true that he was the one that did it. It's no good trying to have closure on false foundations"